steven:

steven:

what if you could pop your eyeballs out of your skull and put another person’s eyeballs in and see what they see but then you realize they see things completely differently and you just want your old eyeballs back but they’re stuck and you can’t get them out and now you have to live with someone else’s eyeballs

i think i’ve just accidentally written an episode of American Horror Story

giraffepoliceforce:

Unsure of how to confess your love to someone? Try this:

  1. Acquire several dozen limes.
  2. Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
  3. Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
  4. Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
  5. Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
  6. Look them deeply in the eyes and say, “Sorry. I’m bad at Pickup Limes.”
  7. Marry them.

dylanthescientist:

princetanaka:

just a small town girl. Living in a racist, insensitive, sexist, homophobic world,

(cant take the midnight train ‘cause im fuckin scared)

(Source: princetanaka)

raddlest:

those people that u love so much and want to talk to them all the time but u feel like ur annoying them

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i-dont-have-to-do-boo:

peabodysfedora:

detectivewho:

dblaksle:

guys remember when Lemony Snicket filled an entire page with evers? 

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I do.

Who cares about the page filled with evers? Lemony Snicket just made two whole pages black.

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He don’t give a shit.

And that time he repeated an entire passage about deja vu to give the reader deja vu

Yep

What a serious of unnecessary events

(Source: therealslimblakeslee)

tescosfinest:

when you are hungry but you have already been offered food earlier

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